APPLE OF THE i

So why it is that Steve jobs has been revered so much by the entire world..! Is the reason the inventions he did? Or the technology that he presented to the world? That too but the biggest reason why Jobs has been such an inspiration is the fact that he stood tall & proud presenting to the world a person whose mind was never deterred by cancer. His brain worked as efficiently despite a failing body.

Ever since pancreatic cancer hit, Steve knew the journey is not going to last long. May be that is why he refused to wait… wait for the eventuality to happen. He made a choice! A brave choice that opened doors for such technology that would have probably taken him 20 years to develop but for the reasons he kept close to his heart until very late. It was a tall order however  the man who is known to speak very little took it on himself to show the world what only a great mind like Edison displayed or for that matter what Willy Wonka illustrated in the chocolate factory.

For me Steve Jobs was more of an artist, a painter who may have had a different canvas but the purpose was the same. Bring to life what the world deserves to see and feel and absorb and more importantly enrich itself with. His words at the Stanford convocation in 2005 are not just enlightening but also autobiographical. He was not only a super creative czar in the world of apple but also someone who felt and more importantly conveyed a common man’s emotions and worries. The part where he talked about the fear of death and how it is life’s biggest invention really wells up nothing but ‘respect’ for the man who so beautifully put forth a truth we all know about but somehow programmed to forget.

Steve Wozniak & Steve Jobs

May be that was what was different about Steve..! May be he never forgot the fact that death is an eventuality that does not knock on the door except interrupts the flow of life. Before his could go out of him he made sure he gives the world something to remember him by. The quality of a true human being who has indeed served a purpose; A purpose that looks out for the progress of the human race not only in technological  creations and inventions but also in examples of ‘self belief’ that took his creations leaps and bounds ahead of others, ‘righteousness’ that made him resign from the  CEO position thanks to failing health, passion that still saw him standing tall for the launch of the latest ipad and most importantly humaneness that never let go of the dream he dreamt in a garage 25 years ago with a friend who shared the same name but probably not the same destiny!! R.I.P Steve Jobs!  

Zach- pure & innocent ch1

This time the trip from Mumbai to Delhi wore a different hue. There was something about it that looked unsettled. The city that usually brims with joy, excitement and most of all fun for me, my Delhi looked a bit dazed. On second thoughts I think it was me. Yes, before getting to Delhi, we lost the most celebrated member of my family in mumbai, our beloved Rottweiler ZACH. He was 8. Honestly I wasn't quite aware of the fact that I was so attached to him until we lost him so suddenly. 
I must confess that I am a convert. A convert from being a non believer in keeping pets especially dogs to being one who cherishes Zach's presence in the house. I believe there is still time before I actually get to accept the overall concept but for sure Zach was an exception. 5 years ago when I first entered the Patel household situated on the main road between the plush Dadar Parsi colony and the green Matunga, other than the fact that I was going to meet my 'would be' in-laws, I was much worried about the most special member of the family who would meet me instead of it being the other way round J So after meeting the folks I sit there, not supposed to move too much and in comes a big, handsome, tall, large headed Zach. Must say I was taken aback by the sheer size of this guy, his face was literally in my face :-)! However despite his almost shocking size I noticed that he was immensely gentle, cutely sniffing all over. My dad in law is right when he says Zach is the four footed gentleman who is unaware of the muscle he and his kind hold. After all Rottweiler is a banned breed in some countries. This one was a family dog.
Hanez (my fiancé & now husband) was very clear that it will take a lot of time for Zach to get used to me and the day he lets me scratch his belly that would be the day when I would have broken the ice. Although I didn’t quite pay much heed to all the ‘alert talk’ the very next morning I opened the room door and saw Zach sitting in the alley looking at me wagging his nonexistent ‘poochh’. I laughed and started petting him and voila! our dear friend turns on his back and gives me his belly to scratch…yippee! I was grinning ear to ear. That I think was the moment when Zach and I became friends!   

Rain Dance Party!

There is nothing more inspiring than the time I am on road in mumbai. Just so much is happening in that 5 km stretch from home to office. Early morning when I am making a virtual to-do list, I see a couple enjoying their 'dashboard breakfast'... yes! it is actually a more recent addition to the psychological study of the metros (i am not making this up!!!) where people rushing to work have their breakfast in the car while it sits on the car's dashboard :-)). Anyhow, as I would maneuver through that edible happening, I realise it has started raining. The Mumbai rains are indeed like the 'bin bulaye mehmaan' that land up anytime without even informing, in this case a bit of thundering or lightning! They just start tipper-tapping on the car's roof..! Through the comforts of air conditioned interiors and watching the outside through my well wipered glass I see a group of slum children taking off their Baniyans and dancing away in the joy of receiving the much awaited shower. Such a beautiful, simple pleasure of life! These kids were completely unaware of the bustle of cars going past or the 'pollution' on the road or in the water. All they cared for was to get their dance steps right; there made for such an endearing sight when they tied their colorful baniyans on their waist and starting following their 'master ji' who was a slightly older boy in the gang. The rains have such different consequences in our heads. Inside the car I am worried about the umbrella that i didn't carry, the potholes that may give way to dirty water splashed on me the moment I get out of the car, the entire effort of tip toing through the kicchhad! But for these kids, none of this mattered; all that was important was how heavy can this rain fall and the tune in their heads to which they all are care freely dancing to on the side of yet another pothole! Am sure at some point they would use the pothole also as a prop!
Really, jaded as it sounds, in the bid to get all comfy and 'successful' we have somewhere lost the taste of the time for the simple joys of life!

WINDOW OF MY HOME, MY HEART. ch-2

Dad is forever busy with either running errands or his work. Although he is always delighted to see me, he doesn’t like to change his daily schedule unlike mom who would banish the world and worldly matters to spend some exclusive time with me. His mornings are not very early but he will be up and at it by 8. After filling his staple cloth bag with ‘makki ke daane’ for the birds he will be off to his morning walk to the city forest near by only to return by 9.30. Our entire family has always laughed about the fact that there is no one in this world who can direct timings and timelines to Dad. That is his single most reason to be self employed so he doesn’t have to report to anyone J Dad is adorable in his own way. We have shared many conversations, some utilitarian, some philosophical, some about the fun of living but only towards the latter part of me growing up. He was pretty busy while we used to go to school. There would be days when we would long to see him and even if he returned at 10 in the night my sister and I would jump in our beds. He would then come into our room and have dinner there only. Knowing my little sister’s love for food, he would offer her a ‘mini meal’ too. Those were dad’s hay days at work. He is not so busy now and hence has dedicated a big chunk of his mornings to fitness. And then his leisurely bath that can never happen before his stress busting habit of many years! Guess what? ‘Polishing his shoes’ Lol!!. Since the time I remember dad’s mornings his immense love for polished and shiny shoes is so strong that we as children would never have to bother about our school shoes being clean as they would be much more than that. In fact, with Dad, the shoes would be sparkling a night before itself! Beat this… he had tips on polishing shoes as well!! Did you know that if you apply only polish on your leather shoes a night before and then rub it in the shoes the morning after with a muslin cloth, they would shine so much that u may have to wear sun glasses? That’s Dad’s love for shoe polish! Trust me, our shoes shined more than Cinderella’s glass slipper!

There is one more thing about Dad which is brilliant, his candid sense of humor. There is no one on the roads who would be spared a joke when Dad is driving. In fact, driving down anywhere with Dad is an experience. Ever since work started becoming less, Dad decided to enjoy himself by taking almost a picnic basket to work. One big cane tokri which will have one huge khaane ka dabba, home-made dahi  and some fruits, of course, he wouldn’t forget his Times of India! I remember once I went to his work place with him and while on road the 33 km stretch (yes he travels this distance every day), he asked me to pull out the cane basket from the back seat. With much takleef I got it in front and from there he took out a guava and a knife and instructed me to cut it in a specific manner. Putting only slits in the guava enough to put the chat masala which was carefully packed in a newspaper. Yaar, I tell you I was fully impressed. Full picnic facility!! I love Dad’s spirit. Off lately, he has become a lot quieter but I can say that he is the one who has exemplified the way to live life for me, ‘king size’ and absolutely fearless. No matter what be the situation, Dad has only one line ‘Tension na le, koyi Goli nahin chal jayegi!!’ Love you papa!

WINDOW OF MY HOME, MY HEART- ch 1

Those rusty hinges of the main gate,

Will squeak one more time!

The twirling staircase encased on each floor would get me to halt,

To catch the view of the beautifully manicured garden down

And finally run further upstairs to become the delight of those forever waiting eyes,

Those loving hugs and cuddles!

I know I am missing home when I start revisiting the memory space occupying the various montages of not just home but its periphery as well. I start remembering the city forest I used to visit once a while with Dad. I remember the age old Kirana and icecream parlour ‘Premi uncle ki dukaan’. I want to go back to the crowded local GK (and have plates-ful of delicious Momos), Kalkaji Market and the E block Mandir where I somehow religiously go whenever I am home. I Love talking those long walks with mom on her various reasons to walk for relentless one and a half hours everyday and then feasting on garam garam Jalebi or her favorite Golguppas at Aggarwal sweets. Coming back home to some TV per bakwaas and to discover my mother’s new found love for desi latka jhatkas in innumerable dance shows that shard prime time of all channels. Ghar ki dal roti is always the most delightful part of coming home. Mom’s special ingredient is always there – love which is combined with ladles and ladles of care and affection. Looking at my mother every time and the smallest things that she does for me I realize the reason why I get all mushed up when I listen to any soppy, emotional, bollywood song on ‘Maa’… suddenly, that dialogue that we have forever made fun of starts making so much sense: “Mere paas maa hai’!!  Honestly I still don’t think we have gotten used to the fact that we don’t live together anymore. I guess the toughest part about changing cities has been staying away from the hugs & comforts of ‘Mom’.

First Prize goes to...

Nothing succeeds like success! honestly nothing in this world can give you a bigger high than success. For many years since childhood i have won a lot of awards, laurels and appreciation for extempore, speech and dramatics etc. and later in the work field for some good work. however if i were to categorize those laurels, i think there will be a few firsts and many many seconds!!
Whenever I received the second prize, it felt good but not great. I guess, its natural for anyone who comes second. It was always great to see that there were many who didn't even attempt to do what i did, then there were those who were really happy with the 'consolation' prize (personally, i feel it's a horrible category for prize, why couldn't they call it appreciation prize instead of keeping such a consoling name?). Having said that, the first prize is always pure gold. No amount of 'its great to participate only', 'see someone got the third prize also', nothing takes away the desirability of gold!
Somehow, over the years i couldn't help but notice that there were many occasions wher i have won a lot...a lot of second places!!
As if it got written on my mind that someday I will be second to none. i grew up, got into the corporate world but chose the path less trodden.. RADIO. i truly genuinely fell in love. My dad once told me, 'either you love the job you do, or do the job you love' and i can very proudly say i am one of the lucky few who managed the latter.
Its been 10 years. With mirchi as a jock being no.1 became second nature. then the question used to be how many gifts will i get from listeners this week? by what margin am i ahead of the second competitor? It was such an amazing feeling to be loved and adored by lakhs of people. It wasn't easy to leave the RJ's chair and move into the backdrop, into anonymity!
Came to a new city, new life, new challenges. Overcame them somewhat succesfully and came to Radio City as the Programming Director. This journey has been indeed peculiar and really really special!! This is the place where i realised paki pakayi khichdi khaane ka time nikal gaya hai!  In here there were not just challenges with the style of radio but the biggest battle was the people. As a jock I had never ever bothered about managing people as I was the one (being a RJ) who could officially throw tantrums! I genuinely started seeing the other side of the coin. Figured how difficult it is to manage egos, hormonal imbalances and most importantly 'boss haters' (I think there is a creed like that because no amount of logc appeals to these characters).
After one and a half years of exciting times of putting the product together, building the blocks and picking the right talent, WE HAVE FINALLY SEEN THE TOP SLOT!! While struggling at no.5 a couple of years ago, this looked like a very far fetched reality, my team has been able to break all boundaries, and exceeded in every sphere including SELF BELIEF. I have to say this.. it feels FANTASTICCCC!
The elixir of success is the sweetest! after many second positions I have personally been able to rip the wall and become numero uno. The hardwork has finally paid. I am no more jinxed with the number 2 position...Life's good!!

WORLD CUP KI CLASS!

'That's the way Mahi ve..!' 28 years later, all that one could see was that intense look in the eyes and a power packed six which vociferously stamped India's victory in the WORLD CUP. What a sight Dhoni was? completely sure, calm and absolutely focused, almost a corollary to his team mate on the other side Yuvi who was pushed to tears on the realisation of the dream that every Indian dreamt for 28 years. The victory had much more in store that what meets the eye!

There were moments of catharsis and certain lessons that really mean a lot to any garm josh individual.

Lesson no.1- NEVER SAY NEVER: After all India proved in more than one way. it was historically not only the first team to chase a WC final's score and win it but also the first team who won the world cup on home grounds thereby proving that no so called norm can come in the way of a strong mind or eventually the victory

Lesson no.2- PERSEVERANCE PAYS: Sachin waited 12 years for this day and while he waited he gave people some fantastic cricket to experience. It is almost as if the world cup victory was icing with a juicy cherry on cake but it was certainly not all that he would be remembered by. As SRK rightly said, 'aajkal bhagwan bhi confuse ho gaya hai, usse log Sachin keh ke bula rahe hain'. Despite that the man is the image of humility and pride.

Lesson no.3- PHOENIX IS NOT A MYTH:
Almost like the rise of the phoenix, Yuvraj singh made a comeback and became the 'man of the tournament' which was not just well deserved but surprising too. The man was almost written off after the T20 WC loss which led to many criticisms from the real to the 'armchair' critics. My dad-in-law very often calls him 'gas bag' much on the lines of too much attitude but zero altitude. I am sure after encountering many jokes on his physical girth, Yuvi has had a mighty last laugh. Here's hoping that Dad would finally be more than happy to relieve Yuvi off that title.

Lesson no.4- TEAM PLAYING IS THE KEY: The team was not just together in effort but in spirit as well. Their love and respect for Sachin surpassed any criticism any of them could have lent on his non performance in the final match. Each one of them unanimously spoke that they created history for 'Sachin'. After all, no matter how great a group is, if emotion has no place in it, it will never do well.

Lesson no.5- GOOD COACH= GREAT TEAM: Gary Kirsten got together a team which was probably reeling under a lot of insecurity, under confidence and self doubting individuals three years ago. It is under his tactful, disciplined & honest coaching that the team reached new heights. He made them walk the thin line between self confidence and inflated ego thereby teaching them much beyond what all of them would already know about the game.

Lesson no. 6- IT IS EASY TO CRITICISE THAN TO BE CORRECT: last but not the least, Dhoni's acceptance speech at the finale podium said it all. In a very tongue-in-cheek manner he spoke about how fickle natured cricket fans are. all the questions about choosing sreesanth over Ashwin, chasing a high score and missing opportunities to score could be now put to rest since we have won the world cup. bitter yet true. We are all such 'arm chair' critics. We cannot possibly be all ok all the time in our lives but love to bash someone else up for how wrong he/she is and that includes the game that is so close to all our hearts. Seriously we gotta stop that.

In the end, all's well that ends well. Although I was just 2 when we won the world cup in 1983, I am immensely happy that now after many many years, a colored photo of Dhoni and team will replace the black and white memory of Kapil dev and men for any mention or promo of World cup. The montage and the memories are fresh and definitely delightfully colorful! Dhoni, bade cup mein chai ka mazaa hi kuchh aur hai..!

THE PROBLEM OF PLENTY

There has always been a tingling feeling to figure what would have happened if the choices made in life were different.

What if I would have chosen to be a writer and not an RJ? What if I would have chosen a career option in Pune and not stayed back with my then boyfriend? What if I wouldn’t have gotten hitched the time I did? What if?

The questions never cease to exist because the choices we make never seem to be just right or completely wrong. At least in my life barring a few erratic ‘in-love’ situations I can very comfortably say that life has never been a complete and perfect plus or minus.

There have been choices and there have been thoughts. I guess somewhere it is good to explore both in comparison and context of each other. Life becomes a lot more interesting and you look forward to it and the challenges of the choices a lot more.

One is called the free will and the other is karma. Both have their respective consequences. The former is in the present life and the latter could be from the past life or the current. Whichever way it turns out, our attractions, our inherent likes or dislikes are all due to this one mind and one heart.

Mind seems to have that extra id which works on its own and man has no control on it. Heart seems to clearly follow the path less travelled, clearly steering away from logic and judiciously following the ‘gut feel’, ‘the hunch’. There are people who we meet the first time and dislike instantly. Guess what? Sooner or later we realise that the relationship with that person never turns out to be healthy. Now whether that is the past life connection, strained heart strings or just the mind reflecting the feeling and hence logically taking the relationship forward... i don’t know!!! What I do know is that there is much more to the brain than meets the eye and far more mysteries and realms of life to explore than what the heart can fathom.

My many instant connections and lovely bonds can completely be credited to my beautiful ‘first time likes’. My relationship with my doctor cum nutritionist is one such fantastic bond. Our journey as friends (or god knows what bond that is!) just continues effortlessly. We don’t need to call each other all the time but whenever we speak, we do with a lot of clear hearted affection which is devoid of any expectation. To think that we just met at a radio show and took to each other immediately makes me realise that the heart also makes brilliant choices which somehow turnout perfectly (well!!! Most of the times). What if I would have chosen to keep my distance and not bother about this one time meeting?

As i said before, I love to ponder in my own journey of choices and endeavour to classify them under mind and heart and I can very easily say now that life has not been easy on choices... ‘the problem of plenty’ bothers the mind as much as the heart J

COLORS!!

Colors!...They express so much. They reflect the light into our dull lives, they are the birds of our imagination and they take us where we have never been. I wonder why it is such so cleansing to be able to just play with colors?

Well, in reflection there is just so much that evokes so many emotions in us in a day; as if we were the canvas on which our heart paints many colors of emotions. The result most often than not, is not conclusive like a portrait but it is streaked, all over the place abstraction.

No wonder, I think there is a lot more fun in abstract than clear defined figures on a canvas. A background covered with many directionless beautiful colors is far more inspiring. They give you a piece of life really! on one hand, they are hope, they are fun, they are many prayers put together and then on the other they are dejection, jealousy or tears of failure and loss as well.

Whichever way they come, playing with these colors on canvas is complete catharsis!!. It is meditation which invariably concludes into a still mind. It is life that finds its own course just like the many colors coming together to find a unique expression on the canvas.

There is a lot of ‘me time’ that I spend in reveries of what be the ‘it’ way to really ‘live’. With the tying down chores of life I perpetually find my stream of consciousness running awry into a flood of so many thoughts that I drown in it. There seems to be no way out because thinking from the heart does pose detrimental in the ‘rat race’. Frankly the vivid and brilliant forms of yoga have not helped (or may be i didn't try too hard!). Neither has there been a possibility of calm when I sit still concentrating on my nostrils. It’s just not me.

Nonetheless, the tryst with meditation has gotten me to realize (yet again!!) that one thing which purges me is the burst of colors. I feel them in my hands, put them on the white bare canvas and feel free. The canvas is like that one slice of my life that has no obligations to fulfill, nothing to worry about and no rules to follow.   

The joy of seeing a painting unfold is inexplicable. That feeling is not just the creation but the process that it has involved to conclude into a beautiful art piece. Every time, I complete a painting it is a completion of the purgation process; it is the final ‘tangible’ product of my innumerable emotions; it’s a release of that energy which if not used makes me feel wasted and just so worthless. It is the gift that gives me the courage to cut the strings and be the free radical that I always wanted to be…a spirit whose destination is defined by the roads it travels.

Care for some abstract painting anyone?