First Prize goes to...

Nothing succeeds like success! honestly nothing in this world can give you a bigger high than success. For many years since childhood i have won a lot of awards, laurels and appreciation for extempore, speech and dramatics etc. and later in the work field for some good work. however if i were to categorize those laurels, i think there will be a few firsts and many many seconds!!
Whenever I received the second prize, it felt good but not great. I guess, its natural for anyone who comes second. It was always great to see that there were many who didn't even attempt to do what i did, then there were those who were really happy with the 'consolation' prize (personally, i feel it's a horrible category for prize, why couldn't they call it appreciation prize instead of keeping such a consoling name?). Having said that, the first prize is always pure gold. No amount of 'its great to participate only', 'see someone got the third prize also', nothing takes away the desirability of gold!
Somehow, over the years i couldn't help but notice that there were many occasions wher i have won a lot...a lot of second places!!
As if it got written on my mind that someday I will be second to none. i grew up, got into the corporate world but chose the path less trodden.. RADIO. i truly genuinely fell in love. My dad once told me, 'either you love the job you do, or do the job you love' and i can very proudly say i am one of the lucky few who managed the latter.
Its been 10 years. With mirchi as a jock being no.1 became second nature. then the question used to be how many gifts will i get from listeners this week? by what margin am i ahead of the second competitor? It was such an amazing feeling to be loved and adored by lakhs of people. It wasn't easy to leave the RJ's chair and move into the backdrop, into anonymity!
Came to a new city, new life, new challenges. Overcame them somewhat succesfully and came to Radio City as the Programming Director. This journey has been indeed peculiar and really really special!! This is the place where i realised paki pakayi khichdi khaane ka time nikal gaya hai!  In here there were not just challenges with the style of radio but the biggest battle was the people. As a jock I had never ever bothered about managing people as I was the one (being a RJ) who could officially throw tantrums! I genuinely started seeing the other side of the coin. Figured how difficult it is to manage egos, hormonal imbalances and most importantly 'boss haters' (I think there is a creed like that because no amount of logc appeals to these characters).
After one and a half years of exciting times of putting the product together, building the blocks and picking the right talent, WE HAVE FINALLY SEEN THE TOP SLOT!! While struggling at no.5 a couple of years ago, this looked like a very far fetched reality, my team has been able to break all boundaries, and exceeded in every sphere including SELF BELIEF. I have to say this.. it feels FANTASTICCCC!
The elixir of success is the sweetest! after many second positions I have personally been able to rip the wall and become numero uno. The hardwork has finally paid. I am no more jinxed with the number 2 position...Life's good!!

WORLD CUP KI CLASS!

'That's the way Mahi ve..!' 28 years later, all that one could see was that intense look in the eyes and a power packed six which vociferously stamped India's victory in the WORLD CUP. What a sight Dhoni was? completely sure, calm and absolutely focused, almost a corollary to his team mate on the other side Yuvi who was pushed to tears on the realisation of the dream that every Indian dreamt for 28 years. The victory had much more in store that what meets the eye!

There were moments of catharsis and certain lessons that really mean a lot to any garm josh individual.

Lesson no.1- NEVER SAY NEVER: After all India proved in more than one way. it was historically not only the first team to chase a WC final's score and win it but also the first team who won the world cup on home grounds thereby proving that no so called norm can come in the way of a strong mind or eventually the victory

Lesson no.2- PERSEVERANCE PAYS: Sachin waited 12 years for this day and while he waited he gave people some fantastic cricket to experience. It is almost as if the world cup victory was icing with a juicy cherry on cake but it was certainly not all that he would be remembered by. As SRK rightly said, 'aajkal bhagwan bhi confuse ho gaya hai, usse log Sachin keh ke bula rahe hain'. Despite that the man is the image of humility and pride.

Lesson no.3- PHOENIX IS NOT A MYTH:
Almost like the rise of the phoenix, Yuvraj singh made a comeback and became the 'man of the tournament' which was not just well deserved but surprising too. The man was almost written off after the T20 WC loss which led to many criticisms from the real to the 'armchair' critics. My dad-in-law very often calls him 'gas bag' much on the lines of too much attitude but zero altitude. I am sure after encountering many jokes on his physical girth, Yuvi has had a mighty last laugh. Here's hoping that Dad would finally be more than happy to relieve Yuvi off that title.

Lesson no.4- TEAM PLAYING IS THE KEY: The team was not just together in effort but in spirit as well. Their love and respect for Sachin surpassed any criticism any of them could have lent on his non performance in the final match. Each one of them unanimously spoke that they created history for 'Sachin'. After all, no matter how great a group is, if emotion has no place in it, it will never do well.

Lesson no.5- GOOD COACH= GREAT TEAM: Gary Kirsten got together a team which was probably reeling under a lot of insecurity, under confidence and self doubting individuals three years ago. It is under his tactful, disciplined & honest coaching that the team reached new heights. He made them walk the thin line between self confidence and inflated ego thereby teaching them much beyond what all of them would already know about the game.

Lesson no. 6- IT IS EASY TO CRITICISE THAN TO BE CORRECT: last but not the least, Dhoni's acceptance speech at the finale podium said it all. In a very tongue-in-cheek manner he spoke about how fickle natured cricket fans are. all the questions about choosing sreesanth over Ashwin, chasing a high score and missing opportunities to score could be now put to rest since we have won the world cup. bitter yet true. We are all such 'arm chair' critics. We cannot possibly be all ok all the time in our lives but love to bash someone else up for how wrong he/she is and that includes the game that is so close to all our hearts. Seriously we gotta stop that.

In the end, all's well that ends well. Although I was just 2 when we won the world cup in 1983, I am immensely happy that now after many many years, a colored photo of Dhoni and team will replace the black and white memory of Kapil dev and men for any mention or promo of World cup. The montage and the memories are fresh and definitely delightfully colorful! Dhoni, bade cup mein chai ka mazaa hi kuchh aur hai..!

THE PROBLEM OF PLENTY

There has always been a tingling feeling to figure what would have happened if the choices made in life were different.

What if I would have chosen to be a writer and not an RJ? What if I would have chosen a career option in Pune and not stayed back with my then boyfriend? What if I wouldn’t have gotten hitched the time I did? What if?

The questions never cease to exist because the choices we make never seem to be just right or completely wrong. At least in my life barring a few erratic ‘in-love’ situations I can very comfortably say that life has never been a complete and perfect plus or minus.

There have been choices and there have been thoughts. I guess somewhere it is good to explore both in comparison and context of each other. Life becomes a lot more interesting and you look forward to it and the challenges of the choices a lot more.

One is called the free will and the other is karma. Both have their respective consequences. The former is in the present life and the latter could be from the past life or the current. Whichever way it turns out, our attractions, our inherent likes or dislikes are all due to this one mind and one heart.

Mind seems to have that extra id which works on its own and man has no control on it. Heart seems to clearly follow the path less travelled, clearly steering away from logic and judiciously following the ‘gut feel’, ‘the hunch’. There are people who we meet the first time and dislike instantly. Guess what? Sooner or later we realise that the relationship with that person never turns out to be healthy. Now whether that is the past life connection, strained heart strings or just the mind reflecting the feeling and hence logically taking the relationship forward... i don’t know!!! What I do know is that there is much more to the brain than meets the eye and far more mysteries and realms of life to explore than what the heart can fathom.

My many instant connections and lovely bonds can completely be credited to my beautiful ‘first time likes’. My relationship with my doctor cum nutritionist is one such fantastic bond. Our journey as friends (or god knows what bond that is!) just continues effortlessly. We don’t need to call each other all the time but whenever we speak, we do with a lot of clear hearted affection which is devoid of any expectation. To think that we just met at a radio show and took to each other immediately makes me realise that the heart also makes brilliant choices which somehow turnout perfectly (well!!! Most of the times). What if I would have chosen to keep my distance and not bother about this one time meeting?

As i said before, I love to ponder in my own journey of choices and endeavour to classify them under mind and heart and I can very easily say now that life has not been easy on choices... ‘the problem of plenty’ bothers the mind as much as the heart J

COLORS!!

Colors!...They express so much. They reflect the light into our dull lives, they are the birds of our imagination and they take us where we have never been. I wonder why it is such so cleansing to be able to just play with colors?

Well, in reflection there is just so much that evokes so many emotions in us in a day; as if we were the canvas on which our heart paints many colors of emotions. The result most often than not, is not conclusive like a portrait but it is streaked, all over the place abstraction.

No wonder, I think there is a lot more fun in abstract than clear defined figures on a canvas. A background covered with many directionless beautiful colors is far more inspiring. They give you a piece of life really! on one hand, they are hope, they are fun, they are many prayers put together and then on the other they are dejection, jealousy or tears of failure and loss as well.

Whichever way they come, playing with these colors on canvas is complete catharsis!!. It is meditation which invariably concludes into a still mind. It is life that finds its own course just like the many colors coming together to find a unique expression on the canvas.

There is a lot of ‘me time’ that I spend in reveries of what be the ‘it’ way to really ‘live’. With the tying down chores of life I perpetually find my stream of consciousness running awry into a flood of so many thoughts that I drown in it. There seems to be no way out because thinking from the heart does pose detrimental in the ‘rat race’. Frankly the vivid and brilliant forms of yoga have not helped (or may be i didn't try too hard!). Neither has there been a possibility of calm when I sit still concentrating on my nostrils. It’s just not me.

Nonetheless, the tryst with meditation has gotten me to realize (yet again!!) that one thing which purges me is the burst of colors. I feel them in my hands, put them on the white bare canvas and feel free. The canvas is like that one slice of my life that has no obligations to fulfill, nothing to worry about and no rules to follow.   

The joy of seeing a painting unfold is inexplicable. That feeling is not just the creation but the process that it has involved to conclude into a beautiful art piece. Every time, I complete a painting it is a completion of the purgation process; it is the final ‘tangible’ product of my innumerable emotions; it’s a release of that energy which if not used makes me feel wasted and just so worthless. It is the gift that gives me the courage to cut the strings and be the free radical that I always wanted to be…a spirit whose destination is defined by the roads it travels.

Care for some abstract painting anyone?